Letters to My Heart

:\ Well, nothing new, just my weekly routine to write something about another week that had passed by. Interesting yet funny things did happen to me last week. First, my friend got mad at me and I had to say sorry to her for my indecisiveness. Well, I didn’t know it was that dangerous, though I know I am a typical Libra -_- Frankly speaking, sometimes I feel annoyed by myself. Tsk tsk, I don’t know what to do anymore. Luckily, everything is fine now, and I promise, sincerely promise, from the deepest of my heart, I will never do that again. Everything is back to where they are, so there’s no need to worry about what they will be. However, I still need to be careful with this thing next time I’m about to decide something. My heart is very obstinate. It doesn’t listen to me everytime I want it to, and that disturbs me a lot. Sometimes I feel like too emotional, and I hate that. I almost cry everytime something wrong happens. Jesus christ, I hate myself a lot. I should have known what to do everytime something wrong happens. It’s just like, I lose all my directions, my conciousness, my decisiveness,… All of them have gone away. I’m like a little baby who needs to be pampered, protected from all the dirt and evil in this planet. I can’t even know what I’m writing now. I think I should stop writing right now and try to mend my brain again 😀

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A Letter to Myself

From: Kimmie

To: Kimberly J Tran

Dear Kimberly,

I know you’ll never read this one, thought I wrote it and sent it to you :-). First of all, I wish you all the best on your birthday, Happy 20th Birthday. We’re about 3 years apart, and I know somehow we have the same thoughts. Still young, still free, still love life with all our hearts. But in this period of your life that you’ll feel so deep down on earth that no one can pull you up but you. Trust me, it won’t be the worst time of your life. When you feel like committing suicide, remember this: There you lose your self-belief not by anyone but by yourself. Even when no one trusts you, just keep moving forwards as long as you believe yourself. There comes, sometimes, you will have made the wrong decision, but don’t worry, because nothing stays the same like it was yesterday. Everyday is a new day, and you have to learn to accept the harsh change of the life. It’s a circle. You feel good, you’ll smile all day, and, as a result, you’ll work well. It’s a positive circle. The negative one is completely opposite. It’s just keep going like that everyday. It’s you and only you can change it. No matter what happens, don’t lose your faith in what you do, because thanks to it, you have the strength to overcome any difficulty. Try to change something in your personality if you determine to do it. Don’t be to opposed to people you meet, or get along well with.You’ll find it helpful someday. If you have a friend, or more than one, try to keep them well in order not to let them go. Friendship is one of the most important basis in any relationship, remember. You don’t have to have many friends, only some to keep your secrets safe, if you don’t want your future to be spoiled. There was a time when I had a very close friend, just because I don’t like her to come to my house that she ignored me. I don’t care about her anymore from now. She’s not worth apologizing. I don’t need a friend who is so selfish. So remember to find someone who is good enough, generous enough and interesting enough to get along well with, OK? When you want to go out with someone, just do it. I know you’re not generous enough to invite someone to come over for dinner, so the best way is to invite them out for meals at a restaurant or have some coffee. That’s the best way. Remember this, if there are people you don’t like, don’t learn to hate them, learn to ignore them. Also, learn to behave well with others to impress them ;). That doesn’t mean you have to live a double life, in which you have to be two different people with different characteristics. That’s not good for ya my friend. Trust me, I’ve met many people like that and they’re definitely not my kind. Well, since it’s your birthday so Happy Birthday Kim. Hope you have a wonderful birthday with your family, friends, and maybe your boyfriend too :-D. See ya!

Your little twin

Kimmie J Tran

No Title

Another week passed by. I’m bored now. Somehow the situation is getting worse than I thought. Well, I’ve got a place in the new class, but that’s not the problem. The problem is, the longer it takes, the tougher it will be. They are all good students, and they’re definitely better than me in studying. You may think I lost my mind, it’s true, ’cause I don’t know what to do right now. Confused, frustrated, nervous, stressed, that’s what I feel now. After this long course, I think I need to take a long rest before considering going to the university or going abroad for my study. I should’ve know when to stop, and this is the worst decision I’ve ever made in my entire miserable life. Before I know what to do right here, right now, all I can say to myself is “Wait for something miracle to come and take all your things away.” Sometimes what I need is a peaceful life with my family, not to sit here to write those things which disappointed me so much. This is the last year I study here before getting my own life. I need something to motivate me. I love my life and I don’t want to die hard so soon later. Well, sooner or later I’ll have to learn. I can stay in the advanced class but this is not the end of everything. There is a long, tough road towards and I know I have to act now before it’s too late to finish everything in an exam. Winner never quits, quitter never wins!