I skipped class today

Well, obviously it’s not a thing worth bragging about, but I have a special reason today. Okay let me make out some points for you. First of all, today is “Teachers’ Day”. Oh wait, no, 20/11 is “Teachers’ Day”. But my school celebrated it earlier than expected. It’s simply used to show students’ respect towards their teachers. So this year is the first year that I’ve ever come back to my old school. Actually I like the last 3 years more than ever. Not that I don’t like my other four years in secondary school, I’m just not interested in going back to my old secondary school. I feel lost going back there. I don’t get along well with too many people there. In fact, I don’t like most of them. They kept making fun of my appearance. Only a few of them played with me just because I liked K Pop like them. But I don’t care anymore. It’s actually just got better on grade 12, when I met all my old friends in my class. They don’t care about the appearance, well, at least they don’t pick up on me. I don’t like making up, wearing too much powder, or lipsticks, or mascara, or whatever. I like being natural. Besides, I think my skin will get worse if I make up, that’s all. I still look ugly, or maybe uglier when I wear make up, I’m serious, though some of my friends said that I wasn’t that bad. But I realized that I had learned a lot from them, though I still can’t get throuh my shyness and laziness.

Anyway, I skipped class today, which is shameful for me because I’ve never skipped any class in my entire life, except when I’m too sick. But it’s for an important occassion, so it’s fine, I think 😀 I’m trying to become a keen student to get through my 4 years of boredome, and make some new friends too. Life is getting more positive, except when I’m too negative to think about that 😀

[23/08/2015] And they never know…

People say I’m an extraordinary girl. I’m shy and I don’t really like the idea of talking with strangers. I can’t really decide between two or more things, which is typical of me. I don’t really like going outside, though I always dream about how cool I will look when I walk into those places. I like staying at home all day in front of my laptop, just to look at all those handsome guys and beautiful girls on the Internet, and daydream about how I will look in the future. I always dream about having a slim, sexy body, meanwhile I eat all day long and do nothing but lying on the couch, and, of course, with my laptop. I talk a lot on Facebook, but I always stay quiet when people talk to me directly out of the Internet. I write blogs whenever I have free time, and most of my posts are in English, meanwhile my mother-tongue is Vietnamese, and though I used to say how I really hated people who don’t like their mother-tongue, or try to speak two or more than their own language in the conversations, I am the one who really like talking in English more than Vietnamese. Even most of my usernames are in English. None of them is in Vietnamese. In my family, only my brother and I talk to each other in English, and the subject that I’m proud the most is also English. I’m a two-faced person who always tries to make myself look friendly in front of others’ eyes.

But they never know…

I’m always lost in my own world. I always have negative thoughts about everything. I was almost bullied and separated when I was still in elementary school and secondary high school because of my “weird and nerd” differences. They made me feel like I was nothing but an ugly b**** in the world. They treated me as if I was no more than an animal. They always tried to get away from me everytime I tried to get along well with them. I used to wish that I would have not been born in this world. I used to think about committing suicide in many ways. I even tried to ask mom why people hated me, and she gave me nothing more than vague answers. When I graduated from secondary school, none of them even cared about where I would study. Four years studying there, I only had one friend to play with, but she left before I graduated. I fell into such great depressions after finishing secondary high school. And I couldn’t believe I cried in the graduation day. I blamed myself the whole day about how I could be such a great liar. But after that I didn’t even remember anything about them. When I first went to high school the first day, everything stayed the same, except one thing that I was known as one of the highest English graders in the whole 10th and 11th grade. Everything stayed the same until I reached grade 12. I became a different person. Getting along well with new people, starting to care more about my studying, staying up late more than ever, and of course, eating more and more. I have to say that I miss my school right now. I really want to go to school to meet friends and teachers. Yeah yeah what they said was right. The high school time was the time I miss the most, mostly because the fun times I had when I was in grade 12. And yes, again, what they said was right, let bygone be bygone. Who knows what they will be when we all grow up? Because I feel uncomfortable about my look, so I start looking at idols and wish that I could be them one day. It’s just that simple. It’s not the dream for me. I don’t have enough courage to do that. I have no talents. I’m just a little girl with little dreams and little hopes. All these things, they will never know…

[04/07/2015] Nhìn lại một năm đã qua

Note: Không biết có thằng nào con nào học Nguyễn Khuyến đọc được cái này không, mà thôi hãy cứ viết ra đi vậy.

Thành thật mà nói, năm 12 là cái năm đáng nhớ nhất trong cuộc đời học sinh không mấy tốt đẹp của mình. Vẫn là mấy đứa cũ đấy, chỉ thêm mấy đứa mới vào thôi (hết cmn nửa lớp rồi :v) Đầu năm thì cũng không có cảm tình gì lắm, dù năm ngoái đã học chung với mấy đứa cũ rồi. Mấy đứa mới thì khỏi nói đi ha, ác cảm ngay và luôn. Đầu năm dính ngày bàn đầu đối diện bàn giáo viên, ôi thôi đời em tàn từ đây. Ngồi chắc cũng được hơn tháng, tự nhiên bị đổi chỗ, cái xong đổi đời luôn :))) Từ một con ít nói, hay tự kỉ một mình thì giờ đã có một (vài) phần tử không-được-bình-thường cho lắm khuấy động cả cái cuộc sống của mình lên. Lúc đầu chúng nó tưởng mình ít nói lắm, ai dè sau vài ba tuần, mình còn nói nhiều hơn cả chúng nó. Và thế là thời đại huy hoàng bắt đầu. Nói chuyện nhiều, ăn vụng, làm việc riêng, ngủ gật,… có hết cả. Độ bựa cũng được nâng cấp lên vài (chục) bậc :))) Mình trùm Anh ngồi cạnh đứa trùm Anh, mà nó lại còn bựa hơn cả mình, nên bị lây nhiễm từ nó :))) Thêm con mẹ nhìu chiện ngồi kế bên nữa, xong luôn. Đời em lên hương từ đây. Điểm giả vẫn (thấp) như thế, mà trình bựa tăng chóng mặt. Lại còn mắc bệnh hay ngủ gật trong lớp, dù mình ngồi bàn 2 dãy giữa. Trùm mọe rồi :))) Mấy lần bị giáo viên bêu rếu trước mặt bàn dân thiên hạ, vậy mà vẫn không chừa :v Mà nói chung năm nay vui, không còn phải tự kỉ như hai năm trước nữa. Dù xảy ra nhiều chuyện buồn nhưng mà thôi, dù sao cũng đã cố gắng suy nghĩ tích cực hơn một tí rồi. Rồi chuyện đó sẽ qua đi thôi, dù nhanh hay chậm.

Haizz, tự nhiên nhớ cái lớp ghê á. Mấy đứa (toàn thành phần bựa), với hai thầy (cũng điên không kém :]]]] ) Chỉ sợ năm sau gặp lại sẽ không còn cái cảm giác như thế này nữa…

Dù sao thì, vẫn yêu cái lớp 12e3 này lắm :3 ❤